BASEBALL
Lane Schaefer and grandpa paul bain martin
the breeze is so soothingly cool
and i really don’t want to go to the pool
and especially not to school
why don’t we play “baseball-on-a-stool”
because i believe that kind of baseball is cool
and heck, please do not think grandpa is a fool!
he went to aggie- and gator-land for school!!!
(some? think that that is cool …
as well as baseball-on-a-stool)
OUR BABY GOAT
Owen Schaefer & grandpa paul bain martin
our baby goat doesn’t usually ride on a boat
he doesn’t need to, you know! because he knows so very well … how to float
SOME GOATS STINK
Lane Schaefer & grandpa paul bain martin
some goats stink especially billies
sometimes it’s so strong it really gives me the willies
(yeah sometimes billie makes me use the word “really”
and i really, really get silly and use the word “willie”
sometimes that stinky goat makes me really think until i turn pink
i think, “why do you suppose billy goats really do stink?!!?”
THE MAGIC HAT
Owen Schaefer & grandpa paul bain martin
grandpa’s belly was really fat
probably because he swallowed a mighty big hat
you know this poem is already getting kind of weird
(and grandpa has a booger in his beard)
this poem was supposed to be about a magic hat
but really all it has said is that grandpa is fat because of a hat … and that is that!
WHO DISCOVERED MARS
Lane Schaefer & grandpa paul bain martin
one day lane, on his piano, was playing “smoke on the water” (or was it “smoke on mars?”)
then he abruptly stopped and randomly asked, “who discovered mars?”
after pulling out most of his mostly gray hair
his grandpa responded “i don’t care!!!”
lane, however, was certain it was lars!
but grandpa retorted, “it can not be that a lad named lars who discovered mars!!
cause mars isn’t really ‘in the stars’ … like that crazy young clown named lars”
…………………….
now there’s a little more glory
to this story
ol’ paul bain went out into the day
with in his mouth a stem of hay
he began to sing all day long
that elementary school Lucio “Bones” Gonzales written song
“paul bain martian, he’s from mars
paul bain martian, he eats stars
yep, ol’ paul bain martian, he IS from mars
and ol’ paul bain martian loves to eat the stars
… on mars”
ODD BEARS
Owen Schaefer & grandpa paul bain martin
you know what; our brains are fried
therefore, from those bears we are not going to hide
thusly we see what some bears’ heads are inside
……………….
some bears accept dares
some bears sit on chairs
some climb stairs
some go to fairs
…………………
“hey owen! let’s change the rhyme of this story
about bears in all their glory.
let’s tell a tale of bears who are gory.
they pull out all their hair;
they give you a mean stare.
and they scare you out of the story … as would any hairless, bare bear”
LADY BEETLE LARVAE
Owen Schaefer & grandpa paul bain martin
lady beetle larvae fall from the tree
what great lady beetles they’ll be
now some say the larvae are ugly
but not to owen and not to me
if we all realized that all life was beautiful
perhaps to nature we would be dutiful?
