spiritual uncertainty?
i suppose i will have doubts about it all until i pass
but then … i am certain that for MY life it will not matter
(well … in this moment of twenty-twenty four, … the eight billion, … and consumption–for sectors, of well over 300,000 kilocalories per capita per day
of this i am dead sure
WE are the problem of rampant, out-of-control consumerism, neoliberal capitalism, militarism … and ecological destruction and socio-ecological injustice,
… and NOT DJT
but speaking of death, i suppose that a smoothly realized real solution is pretty much dead! dead!! dead!!!
we simply cannot get degrowth into our head … into our psyche … into our ethos!)
………………………………….
ok now! … let’s focus on the spiritual more than the uncertain certainty.
i’m sorry old devine classmate richard guajardo … that I am picking on you once again
nevertheless, you did put the doubt there in my spirit in the seventh grade with your tough queries of those poor nuns who were indoctrinating us
these difficult but necessary questions made me question religious dogma and doctrine,
including later … the dogma and doctrine of capitalism (that many propagandizers, even john q. & suzie q. public, have said to be even better than sliced bread)
anyway, another old friend robert cruz told me that you and you poet twin brother, virgil, eventually became evangelicals
now … you and virgil are up there in heavenly heaven
and when i pass, i’ll simply be in the mystic
at any rate some in their deeply sorrowful regret say i’m not spiritual because i’m not very into this “God business”
mostly i just don’t care … and i am sorry, because i do realize that it bothers the caca out of some
(some of these some have even suggested mescaline, psilocybin, other brain-resetting drugs as a cure; however, i have not been much into drugs other than alcohol
[and my alcohol intake has been self-regulated more as at the age of almost seventy-eight i have increasing troubles with that elder problem of a certain male organ])
it was helene tamarin a lovely ignostic jewish friend i met in nicaragua and stayed with during my 2415-mile bicycle journey for democratic socialist bernie in 2016
who really made me ponder about the myths of the easter bunny, santa claus, and other Gods … and then ignostically mostly forgetting about it
…………………………
spirituality? … as mentioned previously herein, some speak strongly that paul bain martin is not spiritual because of his ignosticism. … could be!??!
……………….
alone and overwhelmed in the midst of atlanta at a national entomological meeting when i was a young wet-behind-the-ears research scientist who had a presentation to make on natural management to make in a couple of hours before very experienced researchers, including those paid by transnational synthetic biocide manufacturers
… and finding home and wonderful solace in the amazing catholic cathedral on peachtree street
yep! that was spiritual!!!
mom st. louise’s home in devine, mom hoffmann’s home in rio medina, our home at 605 elm seguin Texas
the beautifully sparkling greens and yellows and lovely light del sol de la mañana
after waking while tent-camping in Unicoi state park, north georgia mountains
one lovely spring
garner state park, the texas hill country; any of the beaches of rio de janerio with beautiful “garotas de ipanema”; swimming in the enormously fantastic spring-fed pool at balmorhea; the plaza and the farmers market in santa fe; the french quarter, new orleans; the zocalo de ciudad Oaxaca
those are spiritual!
the deep dark green, green, green carpathian mountains in ukraine and eating homemade noodle soup cooked on a cast-iron/porcelain wood-stove, fresh blueberries from the sheep-browsed meadows and with fresh cream from their cows outside
while visiting with farmer-friends and drinking way too much vodka
ave marias at funerals. high masses sung in latin
some of my most spiritual of times!!!
the sparkling eyes of spiritually elderly and very alive esmeralda santos ramirez in her modest rural home in the mountains of zapote, comayagua, honduras
betsy’s smile and beauty that christmas night my eyes met hers across the quihi dance hall near rio medina, the love we made all night six months later after we wed at st. louis catholic church -castroville … and danced and drank champagne ‘til midnight … there again at that lovely quihi dance hall out in the midst of nowhere
real family. friends! poet friends!! grandkids!!!
heaven!!!
south texas brush country
where i hope to die.
onde eu vou me deitar “para sempre.” where I will lay down “forever.” … next to my wife betsy and my kneuper grandparents. with a headstone about the necessity of degrowth.
at going -on seventy-eight, an amazing spouse of fifty-three years, a real home in seguin, Texas with family and friends near … as well as spread across this old eaarth
… “crying-accompanied spirituality” comes more often nowadays
pbm ( 7 Ss / VV->^^ )
